Seeing as it has been a while since I updated the blog, I thought I would treat you with the most recent event in my arse's history.
Earlier today whilst at work I had more uncontrolable stomach cramps. As usual, the pain was extreme and I dare not stand to go to the toilet as I was already having to clench beyond my means just to prevent an accident.
A few minutes of pain later, the cramps subsided. I took this opportunity to go to the toilets. As soon as my arse touched the seat it was like the garden hose up my rectum was turned on. Without any spluttering or gaseous emmissions of any kind, a fine and powerful stream of warm water shot out of my rear end into the bowl below. You know the feeling you have when you're drunk but being sick makes you feel better? This was very similar (although it was my arse that had been sick). This, however, is not the point of this story.
When I pulled my pants and tracksuit bottoms up I felt a cold wet sensation on my crack. It would seem that my effots clenching had been in vain... at least some of the aforementioned arse-soup has leaked my almost airtight sphincter.
"Not a problem..." I thought, "I'll just ditch the pants."
A winning plan if ever there was one.
However, whilst removing my tracksuit bottoms I noticed that due to the obvious lack of solid matter in my diarrhoea, not only had it leaked into my pants, but it had leaked through the pants and through my tracksuit bottoms. Unfortunately for me, the bottoms were a light colour and I now had a brown wet stripe about 7 inches long and 1-2 inches wide on my crack, visible to anyone who at the time might have glanced at my crack.
There was nothing I could do - I couldn't rinse them in the sink as it would only make it more obvious. I ended up hiding in the toilet for a short time until the lunch time rush of toilet users had dispersed, and then hitched the bottoms up as high as I could, and made sure my t-shirt was not tucked in, and went back to my desk. I just made sure that I stayed there until everyone else had gone home so I could get to the safety of my car.
Earlier today whilst at work I had more uncontrolable stomach cramps. As usual, the pain was extreme and I dare not stand to go to the toilet as I was already having to clench beyond my means just to prevent an accident.
A few minutes of pain later, the cramps subsided. I took this opportunity to go to the toilets. As soon as my arse touched the seat it was like the garden hose up my rectum was turned on. Without any spluttering or gaseous emmissions of any kind, a fine and powerful stream of warm water shot out of my rear end into the bowl below. You know the feeling you have when you're drunk but being sick makes you feel better? This was very similar (although it was my arse that had been sick). This, however, is not the point of this story.
When I pulled my pants and tracksuit bottoms up I felt a cold wet sensation on my crack. It would seem that my effots clenching had been in vain... at least some of the aforementioned arse-soup has leaked my almost airtight sphincter.
"Not a problem..." I thought, "I'll just ditch the pants."
A winning plan if ever there was one.
However, whilst removing my tracksuit bottoms I noticed that due to the obvious lack of solid matter in my diarrhoea, not only had it leaked into my pants, but it had leaked through the pants and through my tracksuit bottoms. Unfortunately for me, the bottoms were a light colour and I now had a brown wet stripe about 7 inches long and 1-2 inches wide on my crack, visible to anyone who at the time might have glanced at my crack.
There was nothing I could do - I couldn't rinse them in the sink as it would only make it more obvious. I ended up hiding in the toilet for a short time until the lunch time rush of toilet users had dispersed, and then hitched the bottoms up as high as I could, and made sure my t-shirt was not tucked in, and went back to my desk. I just made sure that I stayed there until everyone else had gone home so I could get to the safety of my car.
