Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg

As mentioned in the earlier post I made about myself and this blog, most times I shat myself were accidental (see The Sicilian Pizza Trauma), but occasionally I did it on purpose. This is one of those times.

A few years ago (a quick check on Google says 2003... gosh, doesn't time fly?) a game called 'Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg' was released for the Nintendo Gamecube videogame console. To save me typing, you can read more about the game here if you wish. I became almost addicted to this game and played it for several hours at a time. I was not living with my fiancee at this time, otherwise I very much doubt I would have been able to feed this addiction :)

Anyway, one lazy Saturday I was playing Billy Hatcher. I played for hours, and needed the toilet. I held on, and played. And played. And played some more. My stomach was getting sore, and the more I played the game the longer I spent sat clenching my buttocks to hold off the inevitable. The game was compelling, I was always thinking to myself "Oww, I'm desparate for the loo, but I'll just finish this little bit of the game" or "I can hold on for just another five minutes".

After holding it in for two or three hours it felt as if there was a battle taking place between my bowel and I, and my bowel was beginning to get its own way. Ladies and gentlemen, through a combination of an addiction to a video game and sheer laziness, I had 'touched cloth' - and still I did not get up to go to the toilet. I continued to play Billy Hatcher (just to reiterate, this was a really good game), and the turtle's head became a turtle's head and neck, and a short while later the pain in my stomach had gone. I had shit my pants.

A normal man would not do what I did next - but then again, a normal man wouldn't have shit his pants playing a video game. My girlfriend and I shared a common love of toilet humour so I called her on the phone to tell her what had happened. Between this incident and the aforementioned Sicilian Pizza incident about six years (and many arse accidents) had passed and this was the first time I had let anyone else into my little secret. My girlfriend took it well (well enough that she fell about laughing, and still does to this day) and she was the one who suggested that I share my stories. Without her, this blog wouldn't exist.